Rembering Fallen Friends

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At this year’s Barbara Ann Campbell Memorial Breakfast, we remembered local people who died in 2017 as a result of domestic violence, and we will end Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the same way … remembering.

We remember because these people mattered. They mattered then. They matter still.

And we remember because it fuels us to keep pressing toward our shared goal – an end of domestic violence in our community, forever.

Feel free to leave a message of comfort for the families of the fallen in the comments below and know we are so grateful to you, allies and advocates, for your continued commitment. With your help, we will keep sheltering and serving survivors until there is no more need.

2017 Domestic Violence-Related Fatalities

Black female, 41, stabbed by black male, 36

In 2008, this woman, then five-months pregnant, was kidnapped and stabbed multiple times by her boyfriend. Eight years later, at 49, she died. The Medical Examiner determined that the manner of death was caused by complications from the 2008 attack.

White female, 52, shot by a white male, 60

This woman was divorcing her husband. The husband shot her in the chest in her own home. Her husband also shot and killed this woman’s daughter, his stepdaughter.

White female, 30, shot by a white male, 60

This woman was not originally intended to be her stepfather’s victim, but she, too, was shot during his attack on her mother. Her body was found in a different room than her mother’s body and was partially covered with a blanket.

Black female, 29, stabbed by a black male, 38

This pregnant woman was stabbed in the stomach and left bleeding on the floor by her boyfriend. She was pronounced dead at the hospital.

Black male, 3, shot by a black male, 22

This child was struck in the head by a bullet during a domestic violence-driven attack on his home. He died two days later. His mother was also shot, but she lived. The child’s 5-year-old brother was present during the incident.

White male, 62, stabbed by a white female, 36

This man met this woman, his girlfriend, three weeks prior to his homicide.

White female, 30, shot by a white male, 32

This woman was shot in the head by her boyfriend and died. The boyfriend also shot this woman’s sister in the head. This woman’s sister survived. Two children, ages 9 and 4, were present.

 

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During Annual Address, Hubbard House CEO Encourages Audience to Consider “All” Lives Saved

Gail at the Podium

At the 24th Annual Barbara Ann Campbell Memorial Breakfast, CEO Dr. Gail A. Patin’s speech emphasized not only our partnership to save and change the lives of local survivors of domestic violence but also other loss of life prevented.

2018 Domestic Violence Address

Thank you, Mary, for serving as our emcee year in and year out! You do such a wonderful job.

And, thank you to all of you, for attending the Hubbard House 24th Annual Barbara Ann Campbell Memorial Breakfast.

It’s my honor to be addressing you today as the CEO of Hubbard House and as a voice for victims and survivors of domestic violence.

You’ll note I said victims and survivors of domestic violence. This differentiation is intentional because we are going to spend part of our time together this morning thinking about and remembering

Recent.

Local.

victims of intimate partner domestic violence who died.

This week on Monday, October 1, Hubbard House, in a press conference with our partners, announced that, in Duval county, 9 people lost their lives due to intimate partner domestic violence last year, 7 were intimate partners (husbands, wives; boyfriends, girlfriends) and 2 were other family members:

  • a victim’s adult daughter who was at the wrong place at the wrong time … shot dead
  • And a 3-year-old child who was shot in the head during an attack in his own home, witnessed by his 5-year-old brother

We can see from these tragedies that domestic violence claims the lives of the victims directly involved in the relationship, but also family members:

  • mothers; fathers
  • grandparents
  • brothers; sisters
  • and children

Far too often children.

It’s part of what makes our work together so important!

As part of the movement against domestic violence and supporters of Hubbard House, we save the lives of victims of domestic violence,

but we also save the lives of all those

who could have been,

would have been

fatalities as well.

So, in the face of these 9 Duval deaths, how can we remain positive?

The big picture: In 2017, Hubbard House served 4,407 people, and they are all alive today.

But, when we stop to consider the broader picture, the true impact of our work together, we must also think of all the familial homicides we prevented by intervening at the right time, in the right way.

Here’s the impact of our work, in real terms:

  • This morning, there are children alive and well, running and laughing on playgrounds because of what we do together.
  • This morning, there are brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, grandparents, who are planning upcoming visits and vacations with one another, because of what we do together.
  • This morning, there are local families who can eagerly look forward to holiday celebrations, to seeing every single face at the family table, every person whole and healthy … because of what we do together.

There are three things I’d like for you to know and three things I’d like to ask you to do…

Here’s what I’d like for you to know…

ONE. In partnership with all of you, Hubbard House provided life-saving and life-changing shelter and services to 4,407 people last year, and as much as domestic violence played a part, they are all alive today and so are their children, their brothers, their sisters, their parents.

TWO. Research and our institutional experience informs us that those who come into shelter and receive services are much more likely to find safety and to remain safe!

Which leads us to NUMBER THREE… Our growth item. More members in our community must be made aware, not only of domestic violence, but also of the free shelter and wrap-around services available through Hubbard House.

Then, they’ll know where to turn for help when they need help most. And, more survivors will find safety and more families will be spared suffering.

So, as Domestic Violence Awareness Month is just beginning, I ask you, friends and advocates, to consider these three simple but very significant assignments:

ONE. Read or reread those small cards on the table in front of you, titled, “What is Abuse?” It will help you identify abuse if it happens to you or someone you know or love.

Also, slip that card in your wallet so you’ll be ready to supply our 24/7 Domestic Violence Hotline Number to anyone in need.

TWO. If you haven’t, please put on that purple ribbon pin attached to that card. Put it on your lapel, over your heart. It means something very special. It means you are a part of the movement to end domestic violence. If anyone asks about it, tell them about domestic violence and about the life-saving and life-changing shelter and wrap-around services provided by Hubbard House: free to survivors and their children.

Three. Follow us on Facebook or Twitter and share one of our posts with the hashtag “#9TooMany.” This is our Domestic Violence Awareness Month social media hashtag. It recognizes the number of lives lost due to intimate partner domestic violence in Jacksonville last year. By sharing a “9TooMany” post, you will be spreading awareness of the problem – domestic violence – and the solution – Hubbard House. You may even play a role in saving the life of someone in your own circle.

Friends, I want you to know there is great hope in my heart. This past year, my first as the CEO of Hubbard House, I have met many of you and time and time again, you’ve asked this question: What can I do? What can we do?

With hearts like yours and determination like ours, we will continue to reach survivors AND our reach will grow; we will save and change lives right here in Duval and Baker Counties; and we will transform our community.

Thank you for your time and your caring.

Survivors Shine at Barbara Ann Campbell Memorial Breakfast

Megan and Marie

Pictured left to right: Hubbard House CEO Gail Patin and Domestic Violence Survivors Megan and Marie

The room was quiet and many eyes were wet with tears as domestic violence survivor Megan recounted her story of tremendous personal loss at this year’s 24th Annual Barbara Ann Campbell Memorial Breakfast. But, in the end, it was her strength, resilience and passion for the safety of others living in violent relationships that brought attendees and advocates to their feet, recognizing Megan with a well-deserved standing ovation.

“God is my saving grace,” said Megan, “but because of Hubbard House not only have I lived through this, I am thriving.”

In 2015, Megan’s boyfriend came home unexpectedly and found her moving out of their Jacksonville home. In a rage, he got his gun and opened fire on their infant twin daughters, Megan’s father (who was helping her move out) and Megan, before taking his own life. Megan was the sole survivor.

When the story hit the news, Hubbard House staff reached out to Megan’s mother to offer free support and services. Megan, now a college graduate with law school aspirations, accepted and credits Hubbard House with helping her heal and begin again. “I was finally able to move on from my abuse and grow from the terrible things I experienced,” she said.

Marie also shared her survivor story. She met her abuser as a teenager, married him young and suffered violence at his hands for more than 20 years. It ended when Marie’s friend, Anna, brought her to Hubbard House, and Marie realized – for the first time – that she was a victim of domestic violence.

“I tried everything to ‘FIX’ the problem – counseling, marriage, having a child, buying a house but never actually saw the REAL problem until I was at Hubbard House,” explained Marie who has lived violence-free for 17 years.

Marie offered a unique perspective on the generational impact of domestic violence. While she has gone on to heal and have a healthy marriage with another partner, her son, a child survivor of domestic violence, struggles with drugs and alcohol, as does his wife, leaving both incapable of raising their three daughters.

“My current husband and I recently adopted my two oldest granddaughters, ages 8 and 4,” said Marie. “We are teaching them about healthy relationships. We want to see this cycle broken in their generation.” She is also in touch with the adoptive family of the youngest sibling, and they are likewise committed.

After hearing the two survivors speak, Hubbard House CEO Gail Patin thanked Megan and Marie for sharing their stories to build awareness, to reach victims and to create advocates. “I am so amazed by your courage and strength,” said Patin. “We all are.”